Halloween Jokes & Riddles
Fun Halloween jokes for kid’s lunchboxes, dad jokes, parties, classrooms and more. We’ve got a large variety of ghost, witch, zombie, vampire and Halloween jokes for you to enjoy.
The Reviews are in on our Halloween Jokes & Funnies
• Were Wolf – “The jokes are Howl-arious.”
• Skeleton Bones – “So humerus I could not stop laughing.”
• Ghost Ed – “I laughed so hard, I lost my sheet.”
• Guy Zombie – “So funny, I am going to dig up my friends to share these jokes.”
• Ima Mummy – “Halloween jokes worth getting wrapped up in!”
• Scarecrow – “I thought they were corny and outstanding in the field of joke telling.”
• Miss Witch – “Knock, Knock, Who’s There? Ida, Ida Who?, Ida found these to be spellcastingly good fun.”
Kids and adults may be cackling with laughter, holding their sides in pain, and saying “Now that’s a Dad joke.” as you read and share these Halloween jokes. We’ve pulled together and written our own jokes for you to enjoy and celebrate Halloween. Perfect jokes to read at your kid’s Halloween party or classroom event, include as a lunchbox joke, and just share them with the family and friends during game nights or any social occasion.
Halloween Jokes For Kids
1. Where do fashionable ghosts shop? Bootiques
2. What’s a skeleton’s favorite instrument? Trombone
3. What did one thirsty vampire say to the other as they were passing the morgue? Let’s stop in for a cool one!
4. Why did the werewolf go to the dressing room when he saw the full moon? He needed to change.
5. What do witches use on their hair? Scare-spray.
6. What do you call a cleaning skeleton? The grim sweeper.
7. Why are spiders great baseball players? They know how to catch flies!
8. What is a zombie’s favorite thing to eat? Brain food
9. What monster plays tricks on Halloween? Prank-enstein!
10. Why don’t skeletons play music in church? Because they have no organs!
11. What is a ghost’s least favorite candy? Life Savers
12. Knock, Knock… Who’s there?
Witch! Witch who?
Witch one of you would like to go for a ride on my broomstick?
13. Who does Dracula get letters from? His fang club.
14. Why don’t mummies take time off? They’re afraid to unwind.
15. What did the bird say on Halloween? Twick or tweet.
16. What’s a ghost’s favorite dessert? I-Scream
17. What did the girl horse dress up as for Halloween? A night mare
18. Knock, Knock. Who’s there?
Nobel. Nobel who?
Nobel, so I knocked on the door for Halloween candy.
19. How do vampires start their letters? “Tomb it may concern…”
20. Why wouldn’t the skeleton go in the haunted house? Because he didn’t have any guts.
21. Why did the zombie go crazy? He lost his mind!
22. What do you call a witch that lives at the beach? A Sand-Wich
23. How do vampires get around on Halloween? On blood vessels.
24. What kind of monster is the best dancer? The boogieman
25. Knock, Knock! Who’s there?
Howl! Howl who?
Howl you know unless you open the door!
26. What game do young ghosts love? Hide and shriek!
27. Where does Frankenstein shop for new body parts? The grossery store!
28. Knock, Knock… Who’s there?
Canoe! Canoe who?
Canoe spare a Trick or Treat bag? I forgot mine.
29. What fruit do scarecrows love the most? Straw-berries
30. What do you call two spiders who just got married? Newlywebs
31. What’s a vampire’s least favorite meal? Steak!
32. Where do baby ghosts go during the day? Day-scare
33. What’s a zombie’s favorite cereal? Rice Creepies
34. Why was the skeleton at the cemetery before his party? He was digging up old friends to attend.
35. What’s a witch’s favorite makeup? Ma-scare-a
36. Why did the vampire need mouthwash? He had Bat Breath.
37. What is a witch’s favorite class? Spelling
38. What do you call an athletic pumpkin? A jock-o’-lantern
39. What do you call an body building pumpkin? A jacked-o’-lantern
40. Why do girl ghosts go on diets? So they can keep their ghoulish figures.
41. How do you get inside a locked cemetery at night? Use a Skeleton Key to unlock the gates!
42. Why did the Headless Horseman get a job? He wanted to get ahead in life!
43. What’s a zombie’s favorite cereal? Rice Creepies
44. Why do demons and ghouls hang out together? Because demons are a ghoul’s best friend!
45. What did one ghost say to the other? Get a life!
46. How do you fix a damaged jack-o-lantern? You use a pumpkin patch!
47. Knock Knock… Who’s there?
Bee. Bee who?
Bee-ware, ghosts are out on Halloween!
48. What is a vampire’s favorite fruit? A neck-tarine
49. What has hundreds of ears but can’t hear a thing? A cornfield!
50. How do you know when a ghost is sad? He starts boo-hooing.
Funny Halloween Lunch Box Jokes
51. What do skeletons order at a restaurant? Spare ribs
52. What do witches race on? Vroomsticks!
53. Why did the policeman ticket the ghost on Halloween? It didn’t have a haunting license.
54. Knock, Knock! Who’s there?
Boo. Boo who?
Don’t cry! I didn’t mean to scare you.
55. What did the zombie say before his fight? “Do you want a piece of me?”
56. What do you call a witch’s garage? A broom closet
57. What do you give vampires when they are sick? Coffin-drops
58. How do ghosts wash their hair? With sham-boo
59. What type of dinner plates do skeletons use? Bone china.
60. How do you make a witch scratch? Take away the ‘w’!
61. Why did the ghost move from house to house? He was a drifter.
62. Knock Knock… Who’s there?
Ivan. Ivan who?
Ivan to suck your blood!
63. What do sea monsters eat for lunch? Potato ships
64. Why did Dr. Frankenstein hire Igor as his assistant? He had a hunch he would be a hard worker.
65. Why to the ghost take his girlfriend to his hometown? To check out his old haunts.
66. How do you know vampires love baseball? They turn into bats every night.
67. Why didn’t the zombie go to school? He felt rotten!
68. What’s the best way to get rid of a demon? Exorcise a lot.
69. Why do ghosts hate the rain? It dampens their spirits.
70. Knock Knock… Who’s there?
Ice cream! Ice cream who?
Ice cream every time I see a spider!
More Funny Halloween Jokes for Kids
71. Why are skeletons so good at chopping down trees? They’re LUMBARjacks!
72. Why didn’t the vampire attack Taylor Swift? Because she had bad blood.
73. Why are ghosts so bad at telling lies? Because you can see right through them.
74. What does a skeleton say before eating? Bone Appetit
75. What do you get when you cross a teacher and a vampire? Lots of blood tests.
76. What do you get when you cross Bambi with a ghost? Bam-boo
77. Who are the werewolf’s cousins? The what-wolf and then when-wolf.
78. Knock Knock! Who’s there?
Ghost. Ghost who?
Ghost stand over there and I’ll bring you some candy!
79. What would be the national holiday for vampires be called? Fangs-giving!
80. What do witches ask for at a hotel? Broom service.
81. Where do ghosts like to trick-or-treat? Dead ends.
82. Knock Knock! Who’s there?
Orange! Orange who?
Orange you glad that Halloween is finally here!
83. What do demons eat for breakfast? Deviled eggs
84. What did the mother ghost say to the baby ghost as they drove down the street? Buckle your sheet belt!
85. Where does Dracula keep his money? In a blood bank.
86. What kind of music do mummies like listening to at parties? WRAP Music!
87. How do monsters tell their future? With their HORRORscope!
88. What do you call a skeleton who lays around all day? Lazy bones
89. What types of TVs are in haunted houses? Wide scream TVs
90. Why was Frankenstein puzzled after entering the body building competition? Because all the other contestants had 1 body.
91. How do ghosts go from floor to floor? By scare-case!
92. Knock, Knock… Who’s there?
Doctor. Doctor Who?
Yes, it’s me!
93. What do devil’s drink? Demonade
94. What do you call a night watchman at a pumpkin patch? A security gourd.
95. What does a vegan zombie eat? Grraaaaaaiiinns
96. Why don’t people like Dracula? He’s a pain in the neck.
97. What do you call it when Dr Frankenstein makes tea? A monstrositea
98. Where do ghosts go on vacation? Mali-boo
99. What do spiders like to do in their spare time? Surf the web.
100. Why did the skeleton climb up the tree? Because a dog was after his bones!
101. Knock Knock! Who’s there?
Orange! Orange who?
Orange you glad that Halloween is finally here!
102. What kind of dog does Dracula have? A blood hound.
103. On which day are ghosts most scary? Fright-day!
104. What goes “Ha-ha-ha-ha!” right before a gigantic sounding crash and then keeps laughing? A monster laughing it’s head off!
105. Why did the witch get kicked out of the coven? She couldn’t spell!
106. What kinds of pants do ghosts wear? Boo-jeans.
107. Why did the vampire read the newspaper? He heard it had great circulation.
108. What’s the best thing to put into pumpkin pie? Your teeth.
109. What did one ghost say to the other ghost? Do you believe in people?
110. Knock Knock! Who’s there?
Cement. Cement who?
Cement to scream when she saw Dracula but she fainted instead!
111. Why did the ghost writer hang out in the cemetery? Because of all the plots.
112. Why didn’t the mummy have any friends? He was too wrapped up in himself.
113. Why was the ghost’s Halloween party no fun? It was dead
114. What kind of cheese do monster’s eat? Monsterella!
115. What’s it called when a vampire has trouble with his house? A grave problem.
Ultimate Halloween Dad Jokes
116. How do you make a skeleton laugh? Tickle their funnybone.
117. Why did the ghost stop riding his bike? He kept getting caught in the chain.
118. What did the werewolf eat after his teeth cleaning? The dentist
119. What is a vampires favorite sport? Bat-minton
120. Why is it so hard for zombies to exercise? They are always out of breath.
121. What do baby ghosts wear on their little feet? Booties!
122. Knock Knock… Who’s there?
Voodoo. Voodoo who?
Voodoo you think you are scaring me like that?
123. What do you get when you cross the Abominable Snowman and pasta? Spag-yeti!
124. What did one hungry werewolf say to the other? Let’s go catch some fast food.
125. Where do monsters like to live? Monstro-Cities
126. Why wouldn’t the ghost eat liver? He didn’t have the stomach for it.
127. What type of coffee does a vampire drink? De-coffin-ated!
128. Did you hear about the untidy cemetery? You wouldn’t want to be caught dead in there!
129. How do monsters like their eggs? Terror-fried
130. Knock, Knock. Who’s there?
Olive. Olive who?
131. What room do ghosts always avoid? The Living Room
132. Why does Frankenstein hate car shopping? Because it cost him an arm and a leg.
133. What do you call it when you have too many spiders in your house? A no-fly zone.
134. How do you stop a baby skeleton from crying? Give them a rattle.
135. What can you catch from a vampire in winter? Frostbite.
136. What’s big, scary and has three wheels? A monster riding a tricycle!
137. What’s a ghost’s favorite yogurt flavor? Boooooberry
138. What is a recess at a mortuary called? A Coffin Break!
139. Knock, Knock… Who’s there?
Witch! Witch who?
Witch one of you will give me lots of Halloween candy?
140. What is a pumpkin’s least favorite sport? Squash
141. What ride do monsters love best at carnivals? The Scary-Go-Round
142. What kind of mistakes do ghosts make? Boo-boos
143. Knock, Knock. Who’s there?
Lettuce. Lettuce who?
Lettuce come in and haunt this house!
144. What’s the best way to speak to a monster? From a great distance away.
145. How can you tell when a vampire has been in a bakery? All the jelly has been sucked out of the jelly doughnuts.
146. Why do ghosts like to hang out at bars? Because all of the Boos.
147. What do skeletons fly around in? A scareplane or skelecopter
148. What did the doctor say to the twin witches? Which witch is which?
149. What do female ghosts use to do their makeup? Vanishing Cream!
150. Why didn’t the coffee bean go to the Halloween party? Because it was grounded.
151. Knock, Knock. Who’s there?
Ima. Ima who?
Ima hoping that you’ve got your costume on cause it’s time to go Trick or Treating.
152. What is a ghost’s favorite forest animal? A cariboo!
We hope you enjoyed our 151 Halloween Jokes! We had a blast putting the list together and creating printable Halloween jokes too. Our 110 printable jokes are great jokes and knock, knocks to send of to school in lunch boxes, give out as party favors, or use to play Halloween Don’t Laugh game.
Plus our printable jokes have over 30 jokes not found on this page, and you get a blank sheet of cards so you can add a personal message or your own Halloween jokes. Click here for 110 Printable Halloween Jokes.