Valentine’s Day Jokes & Knock, Knock Jokes for Kids

Fun and silly Valentine’s Day jokes for kid’s lunchboxes, dad jokes, parties, classrooms and more. We’ve got a large variety of funny jokes involving animals, food, and more that we know ewe (sheep reference) will enjoy sharing with your children or telling to your friends and family.

The Reviews are in on our Valentine’s Day Jokes & Funnies
• Cupid  – “I laughed so hard, my arrows got crossed.”
• Postman Bill – “These Valentine’s Day jokes are so funny, I almost forgot to deliver my mail.”
• Teddy Bear – “I will always have a soft spot in my heart for these jokes.”
• Sandy the Florist – “I really lilac these jokes. I love them a lily more each day.”
• Lovebug – “Knock, Knock, Who’s There? Luke, Luke Who?, Luke at these Valentine’s jokes, they’re hysterical.”
• The Chocolatier – “Like a box of fine chocolate candies, you can’t just enjoy one of these jokes!”

Kids and adults may be cackling with laughter, holding their sides in pain, and saying “Now that’s a Dad joke.” as you read and share these Valentines jokes. We’ve pulled together our favorites and written a few of our own jokes for you to enjoy before Valentine’s Day and on February 14th. These jokes are perfect to read at your child’s party or classroom Valentines event, include as lunchbox jokes, or just share them with the family and friends during breakfast, dinner, game nights or any social occasion where you want to light the mood and spread smiles and laughter with corny and silly jokes about Valentine’s Day.

Valentine’s Day Jokes For Kids

1. What is it called when fish fall in love? Guppy-love

2. What did the calculator say to the pencil on Valentine’s Day? “You can always count on me.”

3. What did the painter say to her sweetheart? “I love you with all my art.”

4. What did the chocolate syrup say to the ice cream? “I’m sweet on you.”

5. What did the stamp say to the envelope on Valentine’s Day? “I’m stuck on you!”

6. What did one piece of toast say to the other? “You’re my butter half!”

7. What did one bee say to the other? “I love bee-ing with you, honey!”

8. What did the cook say to his girlfriend? “You’re bacon me crazy!”

9. Why did the boy put Valentine candy under his pillow? Because he wanted sweet dreams!

10. What do you say to an octopus on Valentine’s Day?
Best Valentine Jokes for Kids 101 Jokes for Valentines Day Animals
I want to hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand!

11. What did the dustpan say to the broom? You sweep me off my feet!

12. Knock, Knock… Who’s there?
Peas. Peas who?
Peas be my Valentine!

13. What did the needle say to the thread? “You’re sew special to me.”

14. What do hamburgers do at the Valentine’s Dance? Shake, rock, and roll.

15. What did the boy squirrel say to the girl squirrel on Valentine’s Day? “I’m nuts about you!”

16. What did the girl squirrel say back to the boy squirrel on Valentine’s Day? “You’re nuts so bad yourself!”

17. What do farmers give for Valentine’s Day? Hogs and kisses.

18. Knock, Knock. Who’s there?
Al. Al who?
Al be your Valentine if you’ll be mine.

19. Why is lettuce the most loving vegetable? Because it’s all heart.

20. What happens when you fall in love with a French chef? You get buttered up.

21. What did one light bulb say to the other on Valentine’s Day? “I love you a whole watt.”

22. What do you call two birds in love? Tweethearts!

23. Why did the Valentine go to jail? For stealing someone’s heart.

24.  What flowers get the most kisses on Valentine’s Day?
Funny Valentine Day Jokes Flowers Hearts Clean Jokes

25. Knock, Knock! Who’s there?
Atlas! Atlas who?
Atlas, it’s Valentine’s Day!

26. What did the cucumber say to the pickle? “You mean a great dill to me.”

27. What did one cat say to the other cat on Valentine’s Day? “You’re purr-fect.”

28. What did the firewood say to the fireplace? “I think were kindled spirits.”

29. Knock, Knock… Who’s there?
Bea. Bea who?
Bea my Valentine!

30. Why did the sheriff lock up her boyfriend? He stole her heart.

31. What did the one sheep say to the other? “I love ewe!”

32. And how did the other sheep respond? “You’re not so baaaaaa-d yourself.”

33. What kind of Valentine’s Day candy is never on time? ChocoLATE.

34. Have you got a date for Valentine’s Day? Yeah, it’s February 14th.

35. What did the tree say to the houseplant? “Do you beleaf in love?”

36. How did the doorbell propose to his sweetheart? He gave her a ring!

37. Why the girl want to marry a goalie? Because he was a real keeper!

38. What do you write in a slug’s Valentine’s Day card? Be my Valen-slime!

39. What did the light switch say to the light bulb on Valentine’s Day? “Your current turns me on!”

40. What did the whale say to his sweetheart on Valentine’s Day? “Whale you be mine?”

41. What did Robin Hood say to his girlfriend? “Sherwood like to be your valentine.”

42. What did the boy elephant say to the girl elephant on Valentine’s Day? “I love you a ton.”

43. What did the valentine card say to the stamp? “Stick with me and we’ll go places!”

Printable Valentines Day Party Games for Kids and Adults
Check out our Printable Valentine’s Day Games.

44. What did the one skunk say to the other? “I love you because your so scent-imental.”

45. Knock Knock… Who’s there?
Frank. Frank who?
Frank you for being a friend!

46. Why don’t you ever date a tennis player? Because love means nothing to them.

47. Why did the rooster get a tattoo? He wanted to impress the chicks!

48. What was the French cat’s favorite Valentine’s Day dessert? Chocolate mousse.

49. What do you call a very small Valentine? A valentiny!

50. What did the bee say to his sweetheart? “I’m all a-buzz about you.”

Funny Valentine’s Day Lunch Box Jokes

51. Why did the banana go out with the prune? Because it couldn’t get a date.

52. What did the rabbit say to his girlfriend on Valentine’s Day? “Somebunny loves you!”

53. Knock, Knock! Who’s there?
Howard. Howard who?
Howard you like to be my Valentine?

54. What Valentine’s Day candy is best to give to a girl? Her-She Kisses.

55. What did the boy bat say to the girl bat on Valentine’s Day? “You’re fun to hang around with!”

56. Knock Knock… Who’s there?
Luke. Luke who?
Luke who got a Valentine!

More Funny Valentines Jokes for Kids

57. What did the paper clip say to the magnet? “I can’t deny the attraction.”

58. What was the French cat’s favorite Valentine’s Day dessert? Chocolate mousse.

59. What did the scientist say to his sweetheart? “We’ve got great chemistry.”

60. What did one mushroom say to the other on Valentine’s Day? “There’s so mushroom in my heart for you!”

61. What type of shape is most popular on Valentine’s Day? Acute triangle.

62. What do farmers give their animals on Valentine’s Day? Cauliflowers

63. Knock Knock… Who’s there?
Arthur. Arthur who?
Arthur any chocolates left for me?

64. Who always has a date on Valentine’s Day? A calendar.

65. What did the buck say to the doe on Valentine’s Day? “I love you deerly.”

66. What did one oar say to another? “Can I interest you in a little row-mance?”

67. What’s the perfect thing to say to a coffee-lover on Valentine’s Day? “Words cannot espresso what you mean to me.”

68. What did one owl say to the other owl on Valentine’s Day?
Funny Valentines Jokes for Kids, Dad Jokes for V-Day
“Owl be yours!”

69. What do girl snakes write at the bottom of their letters? With love and hisses.

70. Knock Knock… Who’s there?
Olive. Olive who?
Olive you.

71. What did the baker say to his sweetheart? “I’m dough-nuts about you!”

72. What did one flame say to the other on Valentine’s Day? “We’re a perfect match!”

73. What did one blueberry say to the other on Valentine’s Day? “I love you berry much.”

74. What do squirrels give for Valentine’s Day? Forget-me-nuts.

75. How do you dish out ice cream on Valentine’s Day? You sCupid out.

76. What did one watermelon say to the other on Valentine’s Day? “You’re one in a melon!”

77. What did the drum say to the other drum on Valentine’s Day? “My heart beats for you.”

78. What did the planter say to the rose bush? “You’re really growing on me.”

79. What did the ghost say to his wife on Valentine’s Day? “You look so BOOtiful.”

80. What did the girl bear say to the boy bear on Valentine’s Day? “I love you beary much!”

81. What was the thunder cloud’s favorite gift to give on Valentine’s Day? A box of Shocklates.

82. Knock Knock! Who’s there?
Jimmy. Jimmy who?
Jimmy a little kiss?

83. What did one Jedi say to the other on Valentine’s Day? “Yoda one for me!”

84. What shade of red is your heart? Beat red!

85. Why did Cupid avoid taking a computer class? He was afraid he’d make to many arrows.

86. When one llama asked “Wool you be my Valentine?” how did the other llama respond? “Of course I wool.”

87. Where do all the hamburgers take their girlfriends on Valentine’s Day? To a meatball.

88. What did the sloth say to his girlfriend on Valentine’s Day?
Valentines Day Jokes, Lunchbox, Knock Knock Jokes
I love hanging around with you.

89. Why did all the fruit want the banana to be their Valentine? She was irresistibly a-peeling.

90. What did the chef give to his wife on Valentine’s Day? Hugs and quiches.

91. Why is Valentine’s Day a good day for a party? Because you can really party hearty!

92. Knock, Knock… Who’s there?
Alpaca. Alpaca who?
Alpaca lunch if you’ll go on a picnic with me.

93. What did Frankenstein’s monster say to his bride on Valentine’s Day? Be my Valenstein!

94. What’s the most romantic ship? Courtship

95. What did one volcano say to the other? “I lava you.”

96. Did you hear about the nearsighted porcupine? He fell in love with a pin cushion!

97. What is Cupid’s favorite card game? Hearts

98. Why didn’t the two dogs make serious plans for Valentine’s Day? It was just puppy love.

99. What’s a llama’s favorite romantic song? “I Will Always Llama You”

100. What do you call a colorful heart that loves books? Well-red

101. What did the tea bag say to the teacup? “We were mint to be together.”

We hope you enjoyed our 101 Valentine’s Day Jokes! We had a blast putting this joke list together. And if you have a Valentine’s riddle or joke that we missed, send it to us and we might add it. 🙂