Christmas Jokes & Riddles
Fun holiday and Christmas jokes for kid’s lunchboxes, dad jokes, parties, classrooms and more. We’ve got a large variety of Santa jokes, elf jokes, Christmas tree jokes, reindeer jokes, snowmen and holiday jokes for you to enjoy.
The Reviews are in on our Santa Jokes & Funnies
• Santa – “My belly shook like jelly for hours.”
• Blitzen – “These Christmas jokes sleighed me”
• Gingerbread Man – “I give these Christmas jokes 5 out of 5 ginger snaps.”
• Bumble – “Haaa, maaaaa, hhaaaa, mmmaaaa, funnnyyy.”
• Joe Snowman – “I laughed so hard, I almost melted myself!”
• Ernie the Elf – “I’m not toying with you. These Christmas jokes will make Santa and kids go, “Ho, ho, ho” with delight!”
• Mr. Christmas Tree – “Knock, Knock, Who’s There? Wood, Wood Who?, Wood you read me another one, these are hysterical.”
Kids and adults may be cackling with laughter, holding their sides in pain, and saying “Now that’s a Dad joke.” as you read and share these Christmas jokes. We’ve pulled together our favorites and written a few of our own holiday jokes for you to enjoy. These jokes are perfect to read at your child’s Christmas party or classroom holiday event, include as lunchbox jokes, place in the advent calendar or Christmas crackers, or just share them with the family and friends during game nights or any social occasion where you want to spread smiles and laughter.
Christmas Jokes For Kids
1. Who delivers Christmas presents to dogs? Santa Paws.
2. What kind of photos do elves take? Elfies!
3. Why didn’t the tree get a present? It was on the knotty list.
4. How much did Santa’s sleigh cost? Nothing! It was on the house.
5. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? The ab-dominal snowman.
6. Why didn’t Rudolph get a good report card? Because he went down in history.
7. Who is never hungry at Christmas? The turkey—he’s always stuffed!
8. How do you know when Santa’s around? You sense his presents.
9. Why was the Gingerbread Man robbed? Because of all his dough.
10. Why did everyone think Frosty the Snowman was in a fight? He had two black eyes.
11. What do you get when Santa goes down the chimney when it’s still lit? A Crisp Kringle
12. Knock, Knock… Who’s there?
Ho Ho. Ho Ho who?
Your Santa impression needs a little work!
13. What do Santa’s little helpers like to eat on a cold day at the North Pole? Elf-abet soup
14. What is a Christmas tree’s favorite candy? Orna-mints!
15. What is Santa Claus’ laundry detergent of choice? Yule-Tide
16. How does a snowman get to work? He rides an icicle.
17. How does a snow globe feel around the holidays? A little shaken.
18. Knock, Knock. Who’s there?
Lettuce. Lettuce who?
Lettuce put on Christmas music and start decorating for Christmas.
19. Where do snowmen keep their money? At the local snow bank.
20. How do sheep wish each other happy holidays? Merry Christmas to ewe.
21. What do reindeer hang on their Christmas trees? Horn-aments
22. Why does Santa like surfing the internet so much? Because he enjoys all the cookies.
23. Why do mummies like Christmas so much? Because of all the wrapping!
24. Why were the elves nervous about going to school? They had to give a presentation.
25. Knock, Knock! Who’s there?
Wooden shoe. Wooden shoe who?
Wooden shoe like to go outside and build a snowman?
26. What did the gingerbread couple say when they saw their new house? Sweet
27. What falls at the North Pole but never gets hurt? Snow.
28. Why was the snowman kicked out of the grocery store? Because they caught him picking his nose.
29. Knock, Knock… Who’s there?
Pikachu. Pikachu who?
Pikachu Christmas presents and you’ll be in trouble.
30. What’s as big as Santa but weighs nothing? Santa’s shadow!
31. Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber? It needed a little trim.
32. What did the fruit cake say upon its return to the gift exchange? “I am the gift that keeps on giving!”
33. What did Santa Clause say to when he crashed his sleigh? Well, now I’m really Scrooged.
34. Why couldn’t the elf on the shelf be found? He was in the can.
35. How does a frog open his Christmas present? Rippit! Rippit! Rippit!
36. What’s the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the regular alphabet? The Christmas alphabet has Noel.
37. After completing the math test, what did the ornament say to the Christmas light? You’re so bright.
38. Why don’t elves hire professionals? Because they like to do it them-elves.
39. Why didn’t the snowman wave when the children waved at him? He was frozen stiff.
40. Why do mummies like Christmas so much? Because of all the wrapping!
41. What’s the Grinch’s least favorite band? The Who!
42. What goes ho-ho whoosh, ho-ho whoosh? Santa caught in a revolving door.
43. What happens if you eat Christmas decorations? You get tinselitus.
44. What sound is made every time reindeer take a picture on a housetop? Click, click, click.
45. Knock Knock… Who’s there?
Hosanna. Hosanna who?
Hosanna gonna fit down the chimney on Christmas Eve?
46. Why did the gingerbread man go to the doctor? Because he was feeling crumby!
47. What did the stamp say to the Christmas card? Stick with me and we’ll go places.
48. Why are all the tops so stressed out? They are already wound up!
49. Why does Scrooge love reindeer so much? Because every single buck is dear to him!
50. What do you call an elf wearing earmuffs? Anything you want—he can’t hear you!
Funny Christmas Lunch Box Jokes
51. What did one snowman say to the other? Do you smell carrots?
52. Who won the race between Rudolph and Prancer? Rudolph won by a nose!
53. Knock, Knock! Who’s there?
Justin. Justin who?
Justin time for Christmas cookies!
54. What would you call Santa if you found him at the south pole? A lost clause!
55. What’s Santa’s favorite sandwich? Peanut butter and jolly.
56. Knock Knock… Who’s there?
Snow. Snow who?
Snow time to waste, I need to find my Elf on the Shelf!
57. What do you call a snowman in July? A puddle.
58. What do gingerbread men use when they break their legs? Candy canes
59. Why does Santa Claus go down the chimney on Christmas Eve? Because it soot’s him.
60. What did the beaver say to the Christmas Tree? Nice gnawing you!
61. Who hides in the bakery at Christmas? A mince spy
62. Who leads Santa’s sleigh underwater? Ru-Dolphin!
63. Knock Knock… Who’s there?
Ivan. Ivan who?
Ivan to go outside and play in the snow!
64. What music do Santa’s elves like best? Wrap music
65. What did Santa say when a reindeer snuck up on him and stuck a tooth in his arm? Oh, silent bite!
66. What happened to the thief who stole a Christmas calendar? He got 12 months.
67. What kind of bug hates Christmas? A humbug
68. What wears and read suit and goes, “Oh, oh, oh!”? Santa walking backwards!
69. What do you call a snowman party? A snowball
70. Knock Knock… Who’s there?
Interrupting Santa. Inter–
Ho ho ho! Merry Christmas!
More Funny Holiday Jokes for Kids
71. Why are Christmas trees so bad at knitting? They are always dropping their needles.
72. What do you call Santa when he takes a break? Santa Pause.
73. What do snowmen take when they get nervous about the sun? A chill pill.
74. What do you call an obnoxious reindeer? Rude-olph.
75. Why did Santa Clause get a parking ticket on Christmas Eve? His sleigh was in a snow parking zone.
76. What goes inside elves’ pointy shoes? Their mistletoes.
77. How do Gingerbread Men keep their winter coats closed? With ginger snaps.
78. Knock Knock! Who’s there?
Alex. Alex who?
I’ll Alex Santa if you’re on his naughty list this year.
79. What do you call a broke Santa? Saint Nickel-less
80. What did the dad say to the child when they couldn’t get to the advent calendar chocolates? Foiled again.
81. Why do cats take so long to wrap presents? They want them to be purr-fect!
82. Knock Knock! Who’s there?
Cole. Cole who?
Cole is not what I was expecting for Christmas this year!
83. What does Santa do when his elves misbehave? He gives them the sack!
84. What do reindeer say before they tell you a joke? This one’s gonna sleigh you!
85. What do elves use to get to the top floor of Santa’s workshop? The elf-evator.
86. Why didn’t the Christmas tree want to be on the cooking show? He didn’t want to get chopped.
87. How does a snowman lose weight? He sits in the sun and the pounds just melt away.
88. Why don’t crabs celebrate Christmas? Because they’re shell-fish.
89. What’s red and white, red and white, red and white? — Santa Claus rolling down the hill.
90. What does the gingerbread man put on his bed? Cookie sheets
91. Did you hear about the kid who was scared of Santa? He was Claus-trophobic.
92. Knock, Knock… Who’s there?
Ima. Ima who?
Ima dreaming of a white Christmas.
93. What do snowmen eat for lunch? Icebergers
94. What is a bird’s favorite Christmas story? The Finch Who Stole Christmas.
95. What do you call a kid who doesn’t believe in Santa? A rebel without a Claus.
96. What award did the snowdog win at the beauty pageant? Best in Snow
97. How were Santa’s elves feeling after finishing the last toys before Christmas? Elftastic
98. How do pine trees stay warm in winter? They use snow blankets.
99. How did the Gingerbread Man get into his locked house? Cook-keys.
100. What did Santa say to Mrs. Claus when she asked Christmas Eve weather forecast? There’s a 100 percent chance of rein-deer.
101. Knock Knock! Who’s there?
Orange! Orange who?
Orange you excited to go see Santa?
102. How do you know Santa is good at karate? He has a black belt!
103. What did the judge say to the angry advent calendar? Your days are numbered!
104. What did the Christmas lights say to the light switch? You turn me on.
105. Who delivers presents to baby sharks? Santa Jaws.
106. What is the best Christmas song to sing to your pet rock? “Rocking Around the Christmas Tree”
107. Where does Santa go when Christmas is over? On vacation to a ho-ho-ho-tel.
108. What kind of ball doesn’t bounce? A snowball
109. Why does Santa work at the North Pole? Because the penguins kicked him out of the South Pole!
110. Why did the turkey join the band? Because he had the drum sticks!
111. What do snowmen eat for breakfast? Snowflakes or Frosted Flakes
112. What do you get if you cross Santa with a duck? A Christmas Quacker!
113. Where do elves go dancing? Christmas balls.
114. Why wouldn’t the Christmas tree stand up? It had no legs.
115. What kind of Christmas carol do you sing to fruit? “We Wish You a Berry Christmas.”
Ultimate Christmas Dad Jokes
116. What’s Frosty’s favorite dessert? Ice Krispie Treats
117. Where does Santa go when Christmas is over? On vacation to a ho-ho-ho-tel.
118. What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple? A pineapple!
119. Where do reindeer get their coffee? Starbucks
120. What did the gingerbread man say when he interviewed to be an elf? I’m not cut out for this position.
121. What did the cow say on Christmas morning? Mooooey Christmas
122. Knock Knock! Who’s there?
Murray. Murray Who?
Murray Christmas to all and to all a good night.
123. How does Rudolph know when Christmas is coming? He refers to his calen-deer.
124. What do snowmen wear on their heads? Ice caps!
125. How did Scrooge Scrooge’s win the football game? The ghost of Christmas passed.
126. If a reindeer loses his tail, where can he find a new one? A retail store.
127. What does Santa use to keep his bathroom sparkling clean? Comet.
128. What was the name of the girl elf on the shelf? Miss Chievous
129. What do monkeys sing at Christmas? Jungle bells
130. Knock, Knock. Who’s there?
Olive. Olive who?
Olive the other reindeer used to laugh and call him names…
131. What nationality is Santa Claus? North Polish
132. What do snowmen like to do on the weekend? Just chill!
133. How did the ornament get addicted to Christmas? He was hooked on trees his whole life.
134. How did Santa describe the elf who refuses to take a bath? Elfully smelly.
135. What advice did the doctor give the gingerbread man when he complained about a sore knee? Try icing it.
136. What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve? Sandy Claws
137. What kind of motorcycle does Santa like to ride? A Holly Davidson!
138. What is an elf’s favorite type of cookie? Shortbread.
139. Knock, Knock… Who’s there?
Howard. Howard who?
Howard you like to sing Christmas carols with me?
140. What is a parent’s favorite Christmas Carol? Silent Night.
141. When Santa is on the beach what do the elves call him? Sandy Claus
142. What game do reindeer play at sleepovers? Truth-or-deer.
143. Knock, Knock. Who’s there?
Honda. Honda who?
Honda first day of Christmas my true love sent to me…
144. What do you call it when Kris Kringle claps his hands? Santapplause
145. What do you sing at a snowman’s birthday? “Freeze a Jolly Good Fellow.”
146. Who is the best elf singer in the North Pole? Elfis Presley
147. What is the best Christmas present in the world? A broken drum, you just can’t beat it!
148. What do you call someone who steals Gingerbread Men? A crook-ie.
149. Why do Christmas trees stand out more at Christmastime? They have more presence.
150. What comes at the end of Christmas Day? The letter “Y!”
151. Knock, Knock. Who’s there?
Mary and Abby. Mary and Abby who?
Mary Christmas and Abby New Year!
152. Why does everyone love Frosty the Snowman? He’s cool.
153. What’s the most popular Christmas carol in the desert? Oh caaamel ye faithful.
154. How does Darth Vader enjoy his Christmas Turkey? On the dark side!
155. What is the most competitive season? Win-ter!
156. What do you give a train conductor for Christmas? Platform shoes.
157. Knock, Knock. Who’s there?
Donut. Donut who?
Donut open this present until Christmas!
158. What do zombies put on their Christmas turkey? A: Grave-y
159. What do you call a bunch of chess players bragging about their games in a hotel lobby? Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer!
160. Why was the little boy so cold on Christmas morning? Because it was Decembrrrrrr!
161. Why don’t aliens celebrate Christmas? Because they don’t want to give away their presence.
162. What does Jack Frost like best about school? Snow and tell.
163. What do you call a greedy elf? Elfish.
164. Knock Knock. Who’s there?
Noah. Noah who?
Noah good Christmas joke?
Yes, over 160 of them. 🙂
We hope you enjoyed our 164 Chrismtas Jokes! We had a blast putting the holiday joke list together and are working on creating printable Christmas jokes that can be used for advent calendars, lunchbox jokes, party favors and all around holiday silliness. too.
